Pro-creation is a beautiful thing. It's the only reason to have sex with a woman, in my opinion. However, the most important decision that any parent makes is assigning a name to their offspring. Great names make great people, I say. I'll let history back me up on this one. Mark Foley, Dennis Hastert, L. Ron Hubbard and Jesus Christ. All great names. All great Americans.
But let me be clear. Same-name babies are a disgrace to our national image. Pete Peterson? Tommy Thompson? Chester Chesterfield? These are a clear violation of the Constitution of the United States of America. So if you are a parent and your last name is Johnson - do not name your baby John. I will seek you out and have you prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
Happy parenting!
-Karl Rove
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